Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Wondering how to be good at yoga? Well, guess what...

Hey you! Yes, YOU. Have you done yoga before? If not, that's cool. But, if you have...would you say that yoga is tough?


Be honest...


I say - with unwavering confidence - that YES. It IS. It's really, REALLY tough. And, it's tough for everyone. Do you know WHY it's so tough?


It's because, if you're like me, you go to class with an expectation. You have a goal. You want toned arms or legs. You want to lose weight. You want to burn off some calories. You want to relieve some stress. You want to see that pretty girl or easy-on-the-eyes guy you saw in class the last time you went. 


Well... I've picked up something over years of practicing as well as going through teacher training, and that is this. Having a goal for your yoga practice defeats the entire purpose of practicing yoga in the first place. 


How is that? Rolf Gates, author of Meditations from the Mat (one of our required readings for yoga teacher training), says the way we get the most out of a yoga practice is to have no expectations for it. "Unfortunately, the reasonable desire for ego-gratifying results must be abandoned in yoga. If we are really practicing yoga and abiding by the principles of yoga, then we are making a commitment to focus on the nature of our efforts and not the nature of the results. The sort of attachment to progress this student describes is not only antithetical to the true aim of yoga, it is also a one-way ticket to injury and burn out. When we focus on what we can get out of yoga, we miss the point. We also place ourselves in physical danger while sabotaging our relationship to our practice. To realize the beauty of yoga in our lives, we must never forget that the prize is in the process."


The process, huh? So, it appears that the real enjoyment of yoga comes just from the DOING of it, not of what we strive to get out of it. It's similar to the saying, "it's not the destination, it's the journey."


This particular passage by Rolf resonated with me because I originally began going to yoga classes seven years ago with a specific goal in mind. I wanted to strengthen my lower body to prevent injuries because I had started marathon training. The miles I was running each day and each week were increasing and I was scared because my piriformis muscle (one of the muscles of your glutes) was starting to get really sore. I was afraid if it got any more sore, I might become injured, which would sideline me for weeks, preventing me from preparing for my marathon. A friend suggested I try yoga, because that really helped stretch and strengthen his glutes and hamstrings as he had had the same problem I was facing.


I took his word for it and attended a heated Power Vinyasa flow class with him. And... it was SO DARN HARD you guys. Oh. My. Gosh!


I was actually kind of happy it was tough, however, as I liked having my body worked. But, MAN, did it ever astound me exactly how much mental toughness it took for me to be able to get through all the holding of the poses and the heat. In that class, I worked muscles I never knew I could work. This is why yoga can be so difficult to people who are marathon runners, CrossFit athletes, or other extremely physically fit people. It can be very humbling!


Fast forward to now, seven years later. A few days ago, my husband asked me how "good" I thought I was at yoga. My answer?


I said, "I have no idea."


He said, "Well, I bet you're better at it than my mother." (Occasionally her and I practice together.)


I said, "You're wrong." I told him she's MUCH better at yoga than I am.


You might be wondering how a woman 25 years older than me, who's been practicing for less than a year, can be better than I am at yoga.


I am reminded of what's been taught to me about yoga from the beginning. There's no goal in yoga. I'm STILL learning this.


I feel my mother-in-law is "better" than me at yoga because she's SO much more mindful about her practice. I know she does NOT go in with a goal in mind when she practices. In each pose, she just goes to what feels good. I, on the other hand, push my limits whenever I can, trying to always do the advanced version of each pose. She is much better at realizing the "prize is in the process." And she enjoys her practice so very, very much, even if she does it less often than I do and she's a little older than I am.


The point of yoga is not to push. The point is to serve yourself. To listen to your body. To do what you can.


Those of you who find yoga tough might find that you go into yoga wanting to be good at it. You want to get the poses right. You want to look like everyone else in class. You want to NOT stand out as the newbie. Well, I've got a news flash for you – no one else there cares about your practice! No one is watching you. It’s all in your head. My mother-in-law has it right! Just do what serves you. Who cares what others think? What is the point of having an expectation for your yoga class? If you place expectations on something, you're just setting yourself up for potential disappointment. 


The same goes for me, too. I'm still learning. I'm still "new" to finding the "prize in the process."


In closing, I do have some sad news. This will be my last Saga of a Sassy Student yoga teacher training blog entry. I graduated from yoga school a few days ago, and am no longer a student. I'm now Sassy Sarah - yoga teacher!


My final thoughts are this. (How Jerry Springer, huh?) Even if you've never gone to a yoga class, or you've gone to one, or, you've gone to thousands of them, it's my hope that you go to every class with an open mind and an open heart. It has been the only way for me to truly enjoy any yoga practice I've ever done, whether I did it at home or in a studio.


I've also noticed that this "non-expectation" mindset has helped me with the rest of my life, too. It's really quite cool.


If I don't see you rocking out with me on the yoga mat, I hope to see you out there smiling!


Namaste!


Sarah

Sunday, February 22, 2015

We're all imperfect. So, how is that perfect?

This weekend of yoga teacher training was very stressful for some of the students because a few of us performed our "yoga finals." This means we were to teach our very first one hour class to the rest of the students. It was, basically, the culmination of everything we had learned in our yoga teacher training, performed in its entirety, in front of everyone, for the very first time. 

It. Was. Terrifying!

I was one of the yogis who taught. My heart raced crazily in the moments leading up to my "yoga final". Earlier in the week, as I was practicing my routine (in my room, alone, to my closet doors, ha!), I had started to feel somewhat nervous, especially at times when I messed up the words I wanted to say or I forgot little "nuggets" of wisdom I'd written down. I practiced again to make sure I didn't forget them, and that helped some of the nervousness subside. 

When the big day came, I was feeling pretty confident. Several of the other students asked me if I was nervous, and I told them that I wasn't, and I was telling them the truth. As the other students rolled out their mats and as the instructor turned up the heat in the studio in preparation for practice, I suddenly felt paralyzed. Exhilarated. Afraid. I was definitely NOT feeling the way I do when practicing yoga! In that moment, I tried to center myself and to convince myself I would be just fine as I knew how hard I had worked during the week. But, WOW. That stress was SO overwhelming! 

As I began teaching, my heart still pumped hard in my chest and I knew my breaths were short. I wondered if any of the other students actually noticed. After teaching through a few sequences, however, and realizing that I could do what I had been working on all week, I started to feel calmer. I was, however, on a scale of 1-10, at about a 5 or 6 on the stress scale at any given moment. Also, I'll be honest. It wasn't perfect. It went well, and I was happy with how it turned out, and I received a plethora of positive feedback, but there were a few things I know I will want to work on for the next time I teach. 

As the other students taught their classes to the rest of us, I noticed several things. The first was that they were ALL nervous in the moments leading up to their classes - exactly as I had been. They too wished to do well. I don't doubt they wanted their performance to be perfect, just as I did. I also noticed, as they were teaching, that they may have missed a cue or pose or they apologized when they tripped over their words. As I noticed these things, though, I realized very quickly that they were trying so very, VERY hard in those moments where things weren't perfect. I also noticed this, too. I saw that their hearts were truly in the teaching. They were so beautiful to me in their imperfection because I knew EXACTLY how they felt. 

If the other students are reading this, I hope that you know this: I loved EVERYTHING about all of your classes because you were all growing and trying. There was NO WAY on this planet that our classes could have been perfect! What class is? What teacher is? NO ONE and NO CLASS is! Isn't that just so totally wonderful to know? 

What is even more exciting and comforting to me is that every single class that was taught this weekend was enjoyable. I was so proud of all of us for all the work we had done. We had all performed beautifully and earnestly. I find it so silly that any of us may have been unhappy with any little slip up that may have happened. 

There was simply no need for any of the student performances to be perfect. They were wonderful anyway!

In arriving to these thoughts, I was reminded of an article I'd read recently about how we can be happy in all aspects of our lives, even in our imperfections. The author, Kim Manfredi, wrote, "Here are five ways to embrace imperfection, to help you realize the perfect being that you truly are:

1. Love your imperfect body. This is where the heart lives."

She states here that because she broke her spine when she was 18 and practices yoga, she is more able to assist others who have back issues as well when she teaches her yoga classes. She also is more empathetic to those who suffer from other injuries or ailments. This, in turn, creates more compassion her practice and her teaching.

"2. Have fun with your imperfect mind. This is where freedom lives."

She says here that she, at one time, had become proficient at judging herself. When she learned to embrace the imperfections not only in her body but also in her thinking, she felt freer. She decided she was good enough and that the negative thoughts were limiting her. 

"3. Be imperfect in action. This is where the ability to help others lives."

Here, she emphasizes that every single day there is the possibility that we may mess up. Mistakes are made, but that doesn't mean we can't get back up on our figurative horses and give it another go! Our own mistakes help us help others who may make the same ones. When we share in those mistakes, we become closer.

"4. Be imperfect in speech. This is where inspiration lives."

This particular point ties in very well with our "yoga finals" this weekend. No one said everything they wanted to perfectly, but that was totally OK because our classes were excellent anyway! Besides, Kim states: "If I said everything perfectly, then what would be left to share?" Isn't that just so true?

"5. Enjoy your imperfect life. This is where happiness lives."

Kim says here that we are all broken. No one's life is perfect. Also, nothing is ever as it seems. No matter what the situation, it could always be worse. Always. Look for joy in your life, because there is good in every situation. 

This last point also resonates with the situation the other students and I faced this weekend. I got the impression that some of them felt the same way I did when they were done teaching their "yoga final" - that they could have done better. However, none of us really could have done any better than the way we did. This is because each class was a reflection of the student who was teaching. Each class was so dramatically and fabulously different because it was taught by women who were trying very hard to be themselves, teaching something they loved to others, who they wished to perform well for. Just the fact that they tried, practiced, and downright did it, makes the experience of it a perfect one.

Excellent job this weekend, ladies!

Sarah

(Excerpts are from http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17019/how-to-be-imperfect-still-perfectly-happy.html)

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Why being "uncool" rules.

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is the truth that we share with one another when we are being uncool."
-Line from movie "Almost Famous"

I think many of us experienced our first desires to be liked when we were in our school age years. I remember thinking to myself, at that time, that I wished I was seen as "cool." Whenever I had the opportunity to do something that'd make me look good to others, I'd take it.  I despised any moment where I might have come off as awkward or unprepared. I worried excessively about whether or not I was liked. It was an extremely awkward time as I was unsure about almost every decision I was making.

All of that deliberating was for naught, though, as I was not voted Prom Queen. Not. Even. Close. Did that make me unhappy at the time? Maybe. However, looking back on it now, I'm totally OK with it. Why? All the connections I made back then to those that really cared about me...well, they knew me for my "uncoolness". My parents supported me regardless of my mistakes (thank God for them, truly). The teachers who meant a lot to me were the ones I could honestly talk to about my feelings and needs. The friends I still have from that time shared in the deep feelings we experienced together way back in the day. I didn't have to be "cool" to them. They accepted me for who I was.

Over time, I've learned that being "uncool" is where it's at! The richest relationships in my life are the ones where I'm brutally honest with the ones I'm sharing my thoughts, feelings, and qualms with. What really enriches the relationship is when they let me know all of those very real things about themselves as well. The people I care about the most are real with me and don't put on a pretty face when they're around me as well.

What I think is very important to note is that these relationships are rare. There are only a few people in my life who can really handle my real-ness. It's extremely difficult to find others who you can really open up to, and, yet, they still accept you. But I think that's what makes these relationships so very, very deep. They can grow and deepen because there are precious few of them and we pay extra special attention to them.

The movie line above was taken from one of the entries in the book Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates. The book contains daily entries which elaborate on how yogic principles are experienced in everyday life. Gates writes: "This movie line presents two profoundly beautiful and ordinary aspects of satya (or, quite literally, truth, in Sanskrit): letting go of pretense and telling the truth about ourselves to another human being. Haven't we all had those moments of startling honesty with someone else?" He mentions examples such as while in therapy or on the sickbed of a loved one." He says, "these are sacred moments, as we come out of hiding and allow ourselves to simply be truthful with another human being, without trying to 'be cool'."

I absolutely agree with Rolf in that our most sincere and genuine connections with others are when we are being completely honest, open, unmasked, and "uncool".

Where I think that "uncool-ness" can be seen in action is at each and every single yoga class. Those who practice yoga probably don't know what they look like as they do the yoga poses because they've never seen themselves actually doing yoga. But, you guys, when seeing others while practicing teaching, everyone looks so awkward! The poses put the body in places they're not normally used to being in. The poses all exist for very good and deliberate reason, but it is a little bit humorous to see some of the faces that are made by the students performing a yoga class. Yoga can truly be a challenge. Yoga is facing the reality that your body craves. Yoga is REAL. Those who practice yoga are being completely "uncool" with their bodies...but they're forming a fabulous and deep connection with their bodies as well. They don't care, not one single bit, about how they look or how they're perceived by the yoga teacher or by the others in class. (At least I hope not! Because...really...no one cares what you look like in yoga class! Everyone's just concentrating on doing the class!) It is the same as the solid, candid, truthful, and satisfying connection that results from being real with others, only, it's with your body.

This is most definitely a reason why I adore yoga so much. Each person in a yoga class is being real with their bodies, just like they're being real with those who they deeply connect with in their lives.

See, that's why being "uncool" rules.

Sarah

Saturday, January 31, 2015

What the ...?

One of our instructors from this weekend's yoga teacher training had us do an interesting activity. She suggested we get down on paper our true feelings about yoga. We were to take after her 10 year old daughter (also a lover of yoga) by writing a poem about what yoga means to us or how it's changed our lives.

I thought I would share my poem with you all. If you have attended a yoga class, you have probably felt the same feelings I describe in it. 

Enjoy!

Title: What the ...?

What the ...?
What is this feeling?
I am different, yet still the same.
I walked in here all crazy-like.
Monkey brain.
Everything mattered.
All was a mess.
Then, I was told to breathe.
To center myself.
To forget all those things on my mind, for just a little while.
I struggled with letting go of those things.
But I had to...as we moved on.
We all moved.
We moved in ways we weren't really supposed to, yet we still could.
We moved in ways that felt good...and in ways that didn't feel good at all.
But, we were reminded that when we didn't feel good, we could just breathe.
I've never breathed this way before.
But, it changed everything.
It changed all of us.
And here we all are now.
We're together.
And those thoughts? Now, they're nothing.
And I have nothing else to say, except...
What the ...?
And I love it.

Thank you for reading!

Sarah

Thursday, January 22, 2015

How to perpetuate peace with every single person in your life, per Patanjali.

At yoga teacher training last weekend, we had a discussion about the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. After the discussion, I began reading the version of the Yoga Sutras that were translated by Sri Swami Satchindananda, an Indian religious teacher and spiritual master. I feel they are one of the most important things to learn about when becoming a yoga teacher or when researching the topic of yoga. Why? I feel they hold many keys to peace and happiness.

What are the Yoga Sutras? Per Wikipedia (my favorite source for information), “[they are] 196 Indian sutras, or aphorisms.” Hold up. What is an aphorism? A good example would be the phrase, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” In other words, something that’s been noticed by many to be a general truth. The sutras make up the foundational text of Ashtanga yoga (the exercise of yoga as most of us know it), which is also known as Raja yoga (the yoga, or union, of the mind). “The Yoga Sutras were compiled around 400 CE by Patanjali, taking materials about yoga from older traditions.” These older traditions are so old that they cannot be traced from one single source. They've been passed down this far, however, because they've been regarded as truth for a very long time.


I was a little overwhelmed when I found out about the Yoga Sutras. 196 is a large number! Our instructor, however, made it easy for us. She told us precisely which one was the most helpful as to how to live a peaceful life. And, it turns out that Sri Swami agrees with her on which one is the most important to remember, too.

The sutra, translated into English, is as follows: "By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff remains its undisturbed calmness." Sri Swami says: "This sutra will be very helpful to you in keeping a peaceful mind in your daily life." 
How? Sri Swami states: "Patanjali gives four keys: friendliness, compassion, delight, and disregard. There are only four locks in the world. Keep these four keys always with you, and when you come across any one of these four locks, you will have the proper key to open it."

In our lives, Patanjali believes all people can be grouped into four categories:
the happy, the unhappy, the virtuous, and the wicked. Therefore, he suggests it's best to have these four attitudes towards each of those people: friendliness, compassion, gladness, and indifference. "If you use the right key with the right person you will retain your peace. Nothing in this world can upset you then," he says.   

I'll elaborate. Life cannot be lived without interaction with others, right? And, every relationship we have is not always in perfect peace, is it? Well, if we utilize these keys, we can obtain our own peace of mind as our relationships ebb and flow. 


The first key involves friendliness. 
We will always come across those who are happy. Good things happen to other people all the time. It is a very common feeling to have jealousy towards others we see who are happy, especially when we are not. But, by being jealous, "you will not disturb the other person, but you disturb your own serenity".

An example of me being jealous of others' happiness occurs whenever I hear about a friend or family member who had a baby. On occasion, when I'm scrolling through my news feed on Facebook and I see a barrage of baby pictures, I actually sometimes tear up! It's that bad! (Immediately, though, I take a nice long break from Facebook.) You see, my husband and I have been trying to have a child for about a year and a half. I am aware that's not a very long time for us to have been trying, but, I'm extremely impatient. Our inability to have kids has really been a test for me, and it's been a powerful one, because I definitely feel I need to work on my patience. I hate waiting for anything.


That being said, I'm actually also totally thrilled whenever I see or hear about others who have had kids, but a piece of me, deep inside, is jealous. I'll admit it. This is where Patanjali's first "key" can really help me. If you're ever jealous of anyone, just be happy for them. I know I'd rather just be happy for someone than jealous of them. If a baby is meant to happen for us, it will. What's the point of pouting in the meantime?

The second key involves compassion. This one is the opposite of the first key. If you see those who are unhappy, try to help them, if you can. Sri Swami says, "if you can lend a helping hand, do it. Be merciful, always. By doing that, you will retain the peace and poise of your mind." If you help someone in need, they will be grateful to you and you will ease your mind, and you'll feel better about giving to them as well. 

About nine years ago, I was 60 pounds heavier. I lost the weight by keeping a food journal and I began running. It took me about a year to shed that weight, and I learned a great deal in the process. After I had done it, many people took notice. My brother came to me several years later, asking for my assistance, as he wanted to lose some weight, too. I told him it wouldn't be easy, but he said he really wanted to. We worked together to find some food plans that would work for him and I also worked out along with him for awhile. In fact, he became so motivated that he ran his first marathon last year. AND he lost the weight! I have never been so proud of him. It was very fulfilling to help him because I know how much of a struggle it was to make such a large life change. It was tough for both of us, but it felt so good to help him.


The third key involves gladness for those who are virtuous. Sri Swami says to not envy virtuous people. "Don't try to pull them down. Appreciate the virtuous qualities in them and try to cultivate them in your own life." For whatever reason, when I first thought of a virtuous person, I thought of Oprah Winfrey. I think I thought of her because I always hear about how giving and philanthropic she is. There have been times when I've been just tired of hearing her name, since, for many years in my life, she was very often talked about in the media. I suppose the same can be said for other celebrities. On many occasions, it looks like they are just putting their money towards charities so that they can build good publicity for themselves. It pays for me to give them the benefit of the doubt, though, as I wonder if I would do the same, if I were them. It seems much more honorable to give your extra money towards helping others rather than to buy another expensive car or home. I think of it like this: why purchase more so you have more to worry about? Patanjali's words have helped me to see that what some celebrities are doing with their money might not just be a publicity stunt. 

The final key involves indifference. Sri Swami says, "we come across wicked people sometimes. We can't deny that. So what should be our attitude? Indifference. Don't try to advise such people because wicked people seldom take advice. If you try to advise them, you will lose your peace."


Regarding the wicked people in my life, well, I don't want to use any names. This is the Internet, after all! I am very lucky to say that I have run across very few wicked people. But, I do run into them sometimes. I think it is very easy to avoid wicked people. You just don't want to be near them, not one bit. Follow your feelings when it comes to people like that. They're impossible to change. You may wish to help them, but Patanjali is right in that all of your efforts will be wasted. To help yourself and to help the world, deal with the person if you must to get your business done with them, but then, just go on living, and try to set a good example. And, if you're into that sort of thing, pray for that person. That is pretty much the only thing I think we can do. All we all can do for those types of people is hope that they see the light eventually. Otherwise, we're just working on something that cannot be worked on...and causing ourselves more stress trying to change them. 


So, do your pockets or purses feel a little more heavy now that they've got these four fabulous new keys in them? Trust me, the weight is worth it! I think the more peaceful the relationships in our lives are, the more peace of mind we will have.

Sarah 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Kid's yoga isn't a silly idea. It's a groundbreaking one.

I have been enlightened by an epiphany yet again!


Last weekend at yoga teacher training, Jill Gault, co-owner and teacher at Empower Yoga, walked me and my fellow yoga teachers-to-be through a kid's yoga class.


I was a little worried it wasn't going to resonate very much with me as I have no intentions of teaching yoga for children and, well, I thought it'd be really silly.


Well, it was silly. But, in a very, very good way. I'll explain.


When we finished, I felt light in heart and body. I felt joyous and energized. I felt, very simply, happy. Then, I imagined...what if our kids felt this exact same way after they did a similar class during the school day? It brought a gigantic smile to my face.


This was most certainly not a waste of time of our yoga teacher training!


What exactly did the kid's yoga class entail? It began with all of our yoga mats faced towards the middle of the room, in a circle. We sat cross-legged and repeated after the teacher: "I am amazing. I am loved." And, repeat. These were done in conjunction with calm, steady, deep breathing. It instantly calmed me.


Then, we played a game. We got into pairs and one of us assumed Downward Facing Dog pose (where your hands and feet are on the ground, and you're making a sort of upside-down "V" shape). The other would "walk the dog" by gently pulling on the collar of the other's shirt, guiding the "dog" through the room. This wonderful exercise taught teamwork as well as strengthened the "dog" participant's shoulders and legs.


Next, we did a hands-on project. Per Jill, this could involve something similar to what might be made in an art class or even something a little more practical that could be used during meditation. During our session, we made eye masks with cotton socks filled with rice and a few drops of lavender essential oil.


Towards the end of class, we did the "Yoga Slide" - an upbeat song with instruction during a recorded song. It was an extremely fun and light-hearted way to do some of the more simple yoga moves. For example, we all took tree pose, and swayed back and forth, expressing ourselves as if we were trees.


The kid's yoga class was fun and playful, yet so, so grounding and energizing. It made me think of all the benefits that I would have gleaned from going to such a class if it were to have been offered during my grade school years. I wonder how my school experience would have changed and how different my peers may have behaved or thought if doing classes were a part of the curriculum at school. It made my heart soar to know that there was potential for this type of learning to take place in our current school system. It made me, believe it or not, just a little bit more hopeful for the future of our children. Seriously, what if the inclusion of kid's yoga in the school days of our kids prevented even ONE misheard or misunderstood child from considering taking a gun to school and opening fire at random?


What if? The possibilities are boundless.


I asked Jill prior to our session what she feels are the benefits of including kid's yoga in the classroom. She says it has merit for a plethora of reasons. She thinks it's a good offset to what is common in classrooms now. There is constant sitting and more high-stakes standardized testing. Nowadays in schools there is a much more rigid and calculated approach to teaching. Most curriculum is very measured, regulated, and structured. It's very auto-tron and auto-matic. Is this the way real life is? Certainly not.


And wow, is it ever stressful. It's more stressful now than ever. Not only is everything I just described extremely stressful to kids, but simply dealing with peers and developing relationships is an ordeal. Because of the way that kids yoga classes can help kids feel, I really think that yoga could help them lead a less rigid life as well as a more open-hearted one. Yoga for kids promotes self-worth, self-expression, and self-confidence. Some of the themes I experienced in the yoga kids class that Jill took us through showed how we're all connected and encouraged positive relationships. In a previous blog entry, I wrote of how yoga has helped me not only love myself more, but also others much more as well. It's fabulous to see these themes played out in a kid's yoga class as well.


I am SO totally OK with there being more love in our schools. I don't think there's enough of it.


Thanks, Jill, for teaching us the class, and for spreading the love in our schools.


Sarah

Sunday, January 4, 2015

My two cents on New Year's Resolutions. (In short, why I think they're kinda silly.)



-Jack Canfield

What was your New Year's resolution? (It's cool if you didn't have one. I actually think they're a bad idea. I'll explain more about that in a bit. Some people do like them, though, and sometimes it's just fun to share.)

I'll tell you mine. I resolve, this year, to eat more peanut butter.

Definitely.

Along with that, though, I'd like to try to meditate more. The thing is, though, I have this "resolution" every single day. I've had it pretty much since the first day I meditated. It's just helped me so much, even though the first time I did it, it stressed me out even more. I don't really want to put a specific goal on how much longer I want to meditate, or how often, and I don't think that just because it was the first day of the year a few days ago I should try really hard to make this "resolution" happen.

Actually, I think resolutions as a result of the date on the calendar are a flawed idea. I think that the journey to better yourself is one that can be had all the time, regardless of the date.

Usually, when I hear others speak of their resolutions come January 1, they say that THIS year is the year they'll FINALLY get down to their goal. For whatever reason or excuse, they simply didn't do it last year. They find themselves in a struggle to get their goal done. For some of them, their goal has been one they've been trying to achieve for many years.

Why is it so hard for so many of us to finally make that change we've been wanting to make for so long?

We're afraid. We're afraid of the truth.

The woman who drinks whenever she's stressed out is afraid of stopping drinking because she thinks that her stressful feelings will never end if she doesn't drown them with alcohol.

The man who has a hard time saying "no" to sweets and treats that are offered to him as he attempts to eat healthier is afraid he will be judged or ridiculed because of his choices.

The woman who has never stepped inside a yoga studio to try a class she's always wanted to try is afraid of being judged because she's never practiced before in her life.

The man who is in an emotionally abusive relationship is terrified of leaving it for fear that no one else in the world will love him.

What are these people really afraid of? Nothing. Nothing at all. What proof do these people have that their fears will come true? None. They have no proof. The fears are illusions, stuck deep and dark in their heads.

Rolf Gates, in his book Meditations from the Mat, which is one of our required books for yoga teacher training, sums up beautifully what we need to do when faced with these fears. He writes: "Old fears must be released. Habits of silence must be examined. Are we failing to speak the truth out of a desire to care for or protect others? How do we respond to information we know to be untrue? How do we get in touch with what is true and good within ourselves? It was Plato who said:

'Truth is the beginning of every good thing, both in heaven and on earth; and he who would be blessed and happy should be from the first a partaker of truth, for then he can be trusted.'

Over time you will have the pleasure of watching this beautiful practice blossom in your life in a way that is honest and authentic. As you learn to speak the truth, you will learn to be true to yourself, to all that is best in you."

I am scared of the truth, too. I have been scared many times. I remember I was extremely scared back in high school when I wanted to lose weight. (In high school, I looked dramatically different from the way I do now.) My mother took me to a Weight Watchers meeting and I learned exactly what I had to do...I had to eat completely differently. I had to change everything I was used to eating. I had to give up, and cut down, on what I enjoyed the most. And...I was completely terrified.

But I really, really, wanted to lose weight.

So...I learned the program...and I followed it. I just did it. I knew there was no other way.

Rolf tells us in his book exactly how we can make those life changes that we know we so desperately want, yet are scared out of our minds to go get. He says, "Just do it. Act as if. Move with exaggerated grace and precision, and before long your body will get with the program. If you want to practice moderation, spend less, eat more slowly, take your to do list and cut it in half, make a beginning. We can count on the new and unfamiliar to be awkward. But the awkwardness of that first step is no reason for us to deny ourselves the opportunity to have balance in a given area of our lives. We will have the degree of grace in our lives that we permit ourselves to have."

I hated that first week that I was on Weight Watchers. For the work that I did, however, I earned a gold star. That following week, I was invited to stand in front of the group so I could be applauded for losing five pounds after my first week on the program. The leaders of the group asked me what I did that helped me to reach my goal so that others could learn from what helped me. I had no idea that anyone cared what I had done. I remember exactly how I felt that night as I stood in front of all those other men and women who, I knew, were struggling just as I was. I was elated. My heart soared. I learned so much and had really begun to achieve my goal. I had hope. I felt free.

For those with resolutions, just imagine how you would feel if you let go of those fears and just did what you know, in your heart, you had to do, in order to achieve that goal that you set for yourself the beginning of this year. Or, the goal you set for yourself last year...five years ago...twenty years ago.

Just imagine. It could be SO beautiful. In fact, I know it will be.

So...just do it. You know what you need to do. Face the fear! It will be absolutely, totally, and completely satisfying. It's worth it.

I wish you the best of luck!

Sarah