-Jack Canfield
What was your New Year's resolution? (It's cool if you didn't have one. I actually think they're a bad idea. I'll explain more about that in a bit. Some people do like them, though, and sometimes it's just fun to share.)
I'll tell you mine. I resolve, this year, to eat more peanut butter.
Definitely.
Along with that, though, I'd like to try to meditate more. The thing is, though, I have this "resolution" every single day. I've had it pretty much since the first day I meditated. It's just helped me so much, even though the first time I did it, it stressed me out even more. I don't really want to put a specific goal on how much longer I want to meditate, or how often, and I don't think that just because it was the first day of the year a few days ago I should try really hard to make this "resolution" happen.
Actually, I think resolutions as a result of the date on the calendar are a flawed idea. I think that the journey to better yourself is one that can be had all the time, regardless of the date.
Usually, when I hear others speak of their resolutions come January 1, they say that THIS year is the year they'll FINALLY get down to their goal. For whatever reason or excuse, they simply didn't do it last year. They find themselves in a struggle to get their goal done. For some of them, their goal has been one they've been trying to achieve for many years.
Why is it so hard for so many of us to finally make that change we've been wanting to make for so long?
We're afraid. We're afraid of the truth.
The woman who drinks whenever she's stressed out is afraid of stopping drinking because she thinks that her stressful feelings will never end if she doesn't drown them with alcohol.
The man who has a hard time saying "no" to sweets and treats that are offered to him as he attempts to eat healthier is afraid he will be judged or ridiculed because of his choices.
The woman who has never stepped inside a yoga studio to try a class she's always wanted to try is afraid of being judged because she's never practiced before in her life.
The man who is in an emotionally abusive relationship is terrified of leaving it for fear that no one else in the world will love him.
What are these people really afraid of? Nothing. Nothing at all. What proof do these people have that their fears will come true? None. They have no proof. The fears are illusions, stuck deep and dark in their heads.
Rolf Gates, in his book Meditations from the Mat, which is one of our required books for yoga teacher training, sums up beautifully what we need to do when faced with these fears. He writes: "Old fears must be released. Habits of silence must be examined. Are we failing to speak the truth out of a desire to care for or protect others? How do we respond to information we know to be untrue? How do we get in touch with what is true and good within ourselves? It was Plato who said:
'Truth is the beginning of every good thing, both in heaven and on earth; and he who would be blessed and happy should be from the first a partaker of truth, for then he can be trusted.'
Over time you will have the pleasure of watching this beautiful practice blossom in your life in a way that is honest and authentic. As you learn to speak the truth, you will learn to be true to yourself, to all that is best in you."
I am scared of the truth, too. I have been scared many times. I remember I was extremely scared back in high school when I wanted to lose weight. (In high school, I looked dramatically different from the way I do now.) My mother took me to a Weight Watchers meeting and I learned exactly what I had to do...I had to eat completely differently. I had to change everything I was used to eating. I had to give up, and cut down, on what I enjoyed the most. And...I was completely terrified.
But I really, really, wanted to lose weight.
So...I learned the program...and I followed it. I just did it. I knew there was no other way.
Rolf tells us in his book exactly how we can make those life changes that we know we so desperately want, yet are scared out of our minds to go get. He says, "Just do it. Act as if. Move with exaggerated grace and precision, and before long your body will get with the program. If you want to practice moderation, spend less, eat more slowly, take your to do list and cut it in half, make a beginning. We can count on the new and unfamiliar to be awkward. But the awkwardness of that first step is no reason for us to deny ourselves the opportunity to have balance in a given area of our lives. We will have the degree of grace in our lives that we permit ourselves to have."
I hated that first week that I was on Weight Watchers. For the work that I did, however, I earned a gold star. That following week, I was invited to stand in front of the group so I could be applauded for losing five pounds after my first week on the program. The leaders of the group asked me what I did that helped me to reach my goal so that others could learn from what helped me. I had no idea that anyone cared what I had done. I remember exactly how I felt that night as I stood in front of all those other men and women who, I knew, were struggling just as I was. I was elated. My heart soared. I learned so much and had really begun to achieve my goal. I had hope. I felt free.
For those with resolutions, just imagine how you would feel if you let go of those fears and just did what you know, in your heart, you had to do, in order to achieve that goal that you set for yourself the beginning of this year. Or, the goal you set for yourself last year...five years ago...twenty years ago.
Just imagine. It could be SO beautiful. In fact, I know it will be.
So...just do it. You know what you need to do. Face the fear! It will be absolutely, totally, and completely satisfying. It's worth it.
I wish you the best of luck!
Sarah
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