A swift kick in the...

So. Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving. And, I keep recieving email messages and keep seeing Facebook posts about how we should be thankful and what other people are grateful for.


See, I’m all for giving thanks. I agree that it’s important to appreciate what you have in your life. Much of what we are learning in yoga teacher training teaches us to live in the moment and pay attention to all the good that we have.


It’s just that some other people seem have so much. It sometimes feels like others have it really good. It can be almost painful for some of us to read about what others are thankful for…because it’s something we could never, ever have.


I think about those of us who can’t spend Thanksgiving with our family when we’d really like to. I think about those who have a hard time finding the money to pay for good food or heat on a regular basis, without the slightest thought of having a lavish Thanksgiving meal in a comfortable home. I think about those who have to bite their tongue on Thanksgiving Day and pay homage to a family that hasn’t treated them all that well.


A few days ago, I received an email titled “10 Great Privileges We Forget to Be Thankful For” from the Web site http:www.marcandangel.com. It said this:


“Even in times of uncertainty – even when life seems far from perfect – it’s always important to keep things in perspective.

1.      You are alive.

2.      You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.

3.      You didn’t go to sleep outside.

4.      You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.

5.      You haven’t spent a minute in fear for your life.

6.      You know someone who loves you.

7.      You have access to clean drinking water.

8.      You have access to medical care.

9.      You have access to the Internet.

10.  You can read.”

This blew my MIND. I couldn’t think of one person who doesn’t have all of these things. And they are truly things to be grateful for. Many of them we overlook every day. Yet it is such a privilege to have all of them. Reading this was like a swift kick in the butt. It made me feel really lucky.

We may not have it all, but we sure have a lot more than most. It’s my hope for you, this Thanksgiving, that the good in what you do have makes you feel like you’re an honored, special person. Because…you really are.

Thank you for reading!

Sarah

Maybe meditation's NOT a crock.

Those of you who have been reading my blog know how I feel about meditation. Those of you who haven't been, I'll enlighten you.

I think it's a crock of you-know-what.

Why? I think it's a waste of time. When I first found out what meditation actually was, I never thought it'd do anything worthwhile for me. (Basically, it's being still with your concentration on one thing, be it sounds or an object or anything really...as long as it's one thing.) Why sit and do nothing? Isn't it better to just take that time get stuff done?

Then, our instructor for yoga teacher training told us to try meditation as an assignment. She said to try just one minute a day, adding on a minute each day, up to a total of ten minutes per day. I'll be honest with you guys. I didn't do the assignment.

At our next class session, however, we watched a video which included famous yoga practitioners who spoke of the life-changing aspects of yoga and the yogic lifestyle, titled "Titans of Yoga". The minute I laid eyes on Bryan Kest (he was in the video), I was spellbound. And, not just by his perfectly chiseled face (though that certainly did help)! He said several things in the video that resonated with me. One of them was that he'd read about a recent Harvard study where it was concluded that the majority of our thoughts are the same thoughts we have every single day. Therefore, most of our thoughts are unnecessary thoughts. He said that having control of our thoughts was difficult, but was possible, and one way to help control them was through meditation. 


When he said this I thought back to the time in my life when I suffered from severe anxiety. I used to take medication to help my mind stop from chattering and to calm myself down. (I still do take medication, just not as much as I used to.) The main thing that lead to my suffering was my inability to control my thoughts which, at times, seemed to overwhelm my mind and stress me out to the point of a panic attack. This is still something that I suffer from. I've gained much better control of my thoughts, but there are times when I do feel like I worry to an uncomfortable point. And, from just living life, I've learned that all that worry usually amounts to nothing. Much of what I worry about was nothing to worry about in the first place.


One thing I'm sure that's led to all of the thoughts in my head is that I also have a very short attention span. At any given time, I'm usually thinking about more than one thing. I am always thinking about tomorrow. I usually make 3-4 to-do lists every day. I'm always making plans for today, tomorrow, next week, and next month. When I'm at work, I don't like doing just one thing at a time. I just like being more productive. I'm usually on the phone with someone while composing an email to another. I do admit that my habits often cause me stress. I get burned out and discouraged when my plans don't turn out or even more projects are thrown on my plate at work. Also...I've come to realize that doing more than one thing at a time means I may not do each thing as well as if I had just been doing one thing.

When the beautiful Bryan from the video mentioned those unnecessary thoughts, I considered that meditation might be something that could be useful to me. I struggled to accept that doing NOTHING would be helpful, but I thought I'd at least see if it made my thoughts calm down a little bit.

I made time for my very first on-my-own meditation after doing a little yoga one morning before work. My goal was to try it for five minutes. I decided I would sit on my yoga mat covered in a blanket, cross-legged style. My goal was to simply watch the patterns that floated behind my closed eyes. I turned out the lights, and tried to breathe calmly.

How did it go? I found it extremely difficult to just let my mind BE. Concentrating on only the patterns behind my eyes was difficult. After about 20 seconds, I wanted to start thinking about the day...what to wear to work, the meetings I had coming up that day, what shopping I had to get done later. I was taught in yoga school that thoughts were only natural because they are what we are used to doing...so I tried to just notice them, and said to myself, I'll think of them later.

Although I did this, the thoughts didn't seem to stop coming! I felt more stressed out after my first meditation session than I did normally!

I wondered if I had failed at meditation. However, like I've been taught so many times, and especially in yoga school, you cannot truly fail if you don't try again. I know I am a strong person. When I don't do well at something I've done one time, I certainly give it another shot. Whenever I fall out of a yoga pose while practicing, you bet your bootie I get right back into that yoga pose!

I have been trying to include meditation with any yoga practice that I do at home before work. I try it several times a week. I have increased my meditation time from doing it for only five minutes at a time up to a whopping EIGHT WHOLE MINUTES! But, whew! You guys, it took me a few weeks to get to this point, and I'm still trying. It's very difficult for me not to think about more than the meditation. 

I've also tried new items for me to concentrate on while meditating. When I don't feel like sitting with my eyes closed, I actually use the live wallpaper on my smart phone. It's composed of the most beautiful shades of purple, blue, and green and has little bubbles that I follow off of the phone screen. When one moves off, I just look at another one. I also use a beautiful snow globe that my father gave to me a few years back. It's silver and sparkly and has a unicorn in the center. I just turn the musical knob on the bottom and give it a shake. It's one of my favorite things to meditate with! It just brings me joy to look at. 

My goal here was not to sell you on meditation. I just found it very surprising that it has seemed to actually help me - a person who HATES doing NOTHING.

One of the main reasons I've heard why people don't meditate is they feel they don't have time for it. In some of my own meditation technique research, I came across an article called "90 Second Sanity Pit Stop", and I felt the tactic used in it was very unique! Here it is:

"When caught up in the narratives and dramas that trigger us—when we find ourselves 'putting out one fire after another at work,' our foot on life’s gas pedal, impatient to the point of honking at others, etc.—the first step is to divert our attention from the visual and audio sensations that agitate us, such as the conversation or the computer screen. Sometimes we’ll have to remind ourselves that a 90 second mental health break will not change the outcome, unless we’re about to be trampled by wild animals, in which case continue running.

The first 30 seconds: Become aware of your out breath and extend each exhalation as long and smooth as possible, until they’re at least three times as long as each in breath. Long out breaths activate the vagus nerve which, in turn, 'switch on' the parasympathetic nervous system, deactivating the stress response. Don’t worry about your in breath, as your body knows how much oxygen to take in.

The second 30 seconds: Find the muscle groups in your body that are most constricted and use each out breath to release and relax the tension. I highly recommend focusing on the areas where somatic emotions register, such as the abdominal muscles (fear), shoulders (feeling overwhelmed), the chest (abandonment) and the micro-muscles around the eyes (just about every emotion). Sometimes it helps to lightly tighten the muscles with the in breath, so that we can have a greater release during the exhalations.


The last 30 seconds: While keeping the breath in awareness, bring an image of yourself onto the mind’s inner movie screen, where fantasies and memories play out. Holding the image, direct thoughts of kindness and compassion towards it: 'May I be truly at ease.' 'May I find lasting peace.' 'I love you, just keep going,' etc.

These thoughts can be repeated with every out breath, or again and again so other thoughts don’t intrude. When the 90 seconds are up, slowly open your eyes, and try, as you return to the busy stimuli of life, to keep some awareness on those out breaths. I recommend setting a timer on a smart phone or computer to remind us to take a pit stop every two hours at the very least; think of it as a spiritual refueling. I've used this tried-and-true method for quite a long time; it’s how I survived working in industries where other people succumbed to many stress related setbacks. I hope it will help others in their journeys."

Here is more information on it:
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/11/90-second-sanity-pit-stop-meditation-practice/?utm_source=All&utm_campaign=Daily+Moment+of+Awake+in+the+Inbox+of+Your+Mind&utm_medium=email

If you meditate, I'd love to know of any other methods or items you use when you do it. Feel free to post on this blog or on my Facebook post!

Peaceful thoughts to you!

Sarah 

An uncomfortable conversation.

At my work, I have uncomfortable conversations with clients on pretty much a daily basis. I talk with them about life insurance.

My job isn't all glum, though! I do enjoy talking with people and getting to know them. It's nice to know I can provide them protection and help them feel better about the future.

It's just that the life insurance conversation is a very sensitive one. Most of us don't want to think about the possibility of passing away or how it might affect our family. Still...it's a very important conversation to have. I've grown used to it simply because I discuss it with so many people so often. I can empathize with anyone that doesn't enjoy such a conversation. The experience of the death of a loved one is always very sad.

Society today has somewhat of an obsession with death prevention. We go to great lengths to delay it. We try to learn all we can to stay as healthy as we can so that we can live as long as we can.


The thought of death strikes fear in many peoples' hearts. I think what fuels this fear is so much uncertainty regarding death. None of us really knows what happens when we die. Yes, our veins stop pumping blood, our brains cease to work, and our bodies don't function any further. But, because none of us have died and come back to tell about it, none of us really knows what happens next.


It's quite the scary thought.


As I continued reading Yoga and the Path of the Urban Mystic (one of the books required for yoga school teacher training), there was a wonderful passage that talked about death. It really brought a sense of peace to my heart about death and I thought I'd share what I found out with you.

"Death is the most natural thing there is and to fear it is no more logical than to fear sunsets. Like the sunset that is sure to follow the sunrise, death is the natural result of birth. Resisting it and clinging to life only serves to hold us back while we're here and prevents us from living life to the fullest.

For many of us, death is not an easy subject. Because of [what we were taught to believe from birth and because we] so closely identify with the body, death can be a very fearful thing. The practice of yoga is based on the idea that we are not [really of these thoughts,] but rather the eternal Atman, or divine spark. Once [our spark] is realized, there is no cause to fear death or to speak about it in whispers.

As I have noted so many times [in this book], the essence of who we are (our divine spark) is eternal. [It is] the soul; it was not created at birth and does not die at death. Only the form a soul takes can change. If we resist that change, we suffer, and there is no change bigger than physical death.


None of us knows when we'll be called home. None of us knows when the accident is going to hit, or when disease is going to render the body uninhabitable. Therefore, it's important to attempt to make every moment a conscious one. In doing this we simultaneously create full and rich lives and make a clear space for entering into [death]."


I found these words very beautiful. It only makes sense that we might fear death because we only feel that we are of our bodies. But, what if we are so much more than just our physical selves? Whatever that is, that is what lives on, even after we pass away. It's just moving to its next stage. And, who knows what endless possibilities are in store for us there!


May you live your life to the fullest!


Sarah

Right now is actually the only thing we have.

I love making plans. I write to-do lists like it's what I do for a living. (I know that's pretty sad!) I dream all the time and am always thinking about the future. One might say that my future-oriented thinking is a positive trait, but that isn't necessarily the case. Why? Plans almost always never go exactly as I'd like them to.

Example: I began training for my first marathon back in 2007. When I found the perfect plan to help me reach my goal time, I was thrilled. I bet I annoyed everyone in my life at the time because it was pretty much all I talked about. I loved knowing each and every day how far I was going to be running and I had full faith that if I followed the plan to a tee, I'd meet my goal time.

Lo and behold...I got injured. The second month of my training plan, I felt some pain in my foot and it kept getting worse as I did my planned run each day. I researched online to find out could be going on and asked a few running friends, but I didn't find out what was really up with my foot until I saw a physical therapist. When the therapist told me that my training plan would have to be put on hold for a few weeks, I was totally devastated. My beloved plans would have to be changed! I was concerned that if I couldn't stick with the plan, my goal time, my DREAM, wasn't going to happen. I was super sad and super pissed.

I'm sure you've experienced the feelings I felt when I wasn't able to continue my plan exactly the way I wanted. When you've got your heart set on something in the future and circumstance stops you in your tracks, you're left disappointed and downtrodden...distressed and stressed out. You're heartbroken.

When we get caught up in expectations of the future, we're just setting ourselves up for the feelings I just mentioned. Why? There are far too many factors out there that are completely out of our control.

Well...get this. These feelings can be remedied. How? By centering our focus on the circumstances we're in...right now!

Though it's great to have goals and work towards them, it's a much less stressful way to live if we're not concentrating all of our happiness on if we meet those goals. Alternatively, if we regret or linger on things that have happened in the past, we're never really going to be happy because that is another circumstance we have no control over. All we really have is right now.

This is why there is so much talk of being present and taking advantage of the current moment when it comes to a yoga practice. Right now is actually all we have.

One of the required readings for yoga teacher training is a book by Darren Main titled Yoga and the Path of the Urban Mystic. Darren states that life can only actually be lived in the present moment. "Changing your mind, and consequently changing your reality, can only happen in the present moment. We can spend a lot of time regretting or feeling nostalgic about the past. We can fantasize about the future or live in fear of it. The past is gone and the future is nonexistent. Therefore, the only time that exists is now."

I found his words to be particularly interesting because of my plan-based lifestyle. I fantasize about the future on a daily or even an hourly basis. If all of my energy is placed on trying to meet these goals, I will always be devastated when life doesn't allow me to follow through.

As I read his book further, I found out that what happens to us doesn't necessarily have to result in unhappiness. He also says that "if we focus on [the] negative experiences [that happen to us], that's what we'll unconsciously create in our lives." Apparently, I don't always have to feel victim to what the world throws at me and stops my plans from happening.

One of the most powerful passages from Darren's book was this one, for me: "How we focus the mind determines how our reality will unfold. Until we learn to focus the mind on the present moment and make conscious choices, we will always feel like the victim of happenstance. It's so important to see that life is not about luck or fate, but rather about choice."

We have a CHOICE you guys!!! We can choose to accept what happens to us and our plans! It doesn't always have to royally suck. Yes, it may not be what we want. But...what we want may not always be the best thing for us, anyway. Sometimes we never really know. That actually doesn't really matter. What matters is that we can choose to change our minds about our circumstances...rather than dwell on what we wanted to change about the past...or what we hope to achieve in the future. All we can control is what we're thinking right now. Right now is all we'll ever have.

The emotions I felt when I got my injury were unnecessary. I learned a whole bunch about how to change my plan into a new one that would prevent injury and still prepare me for the marathon. And guess what? I not only met my goal time...I beat it by 10 minutes! It's hard for me to find words to describe how I felt when I finished. I felt supremely proud and extremely elated...like a better version of myself. These feelings were definitely a result of knowing I overcame an obstacle that put a kink in my plans.

I'm learning more and more every day that all we can really do is to make the most of RIGHT NOW. That's because now is all we'll ever have. We'll never know what tomorrow can bring, and we cannot change the past.

Based on my experience and what I continue to learn...do I still make plans? I sure do. It makes me happy to dream. I'm just much more mindful when mind plans don't work out. And, I have made a big promise to myself. I refuse to plan this early in yoga teacher training exactly how I'll be able to teach others yoga. I do have dreams and I will keep my eyes open for opportunities. I'm just going to enjoy the training. I'm going to make the most of now - because right now will never happen again.

I hope your now is as awesome as you are.

Sarah

What is the point?

Some days I just wake up CRANKAAAY. Maybe, the night before, I had a fierce argument with my husband. Or, during the day, I get thrown into a bad mood after I got a nasty complaint at work. As optimistic as I usually seem, bad moods and bad times do happen to me! They happen to all of us...unfortunately.


What do we do when we want to deal with these bad times? We reach for something to heal us. Recently, I had gotten off a particularly bad phone call while on my lunch break, and I thought I deserved to treat myself to some Starbucks to help lift my mood. I ordered at the window and pulled up to pay. As I handed over my debit card, the barista said, "No need! The person ahead of you paid for your coffee!"


I just about pissed my pants. I was OVERWHELMED with the kindness the person ahead of me had shown me. And they had ZERO idea about the terrible day I was having. They just did it.


But, gosh dangit, if only I would have been able to hug that person before they drove away so I could thank them from the bottom of my heart that they turned my day completely around!


I was reminded of this when our instructor for yoga school this past weekend said that we may never know the result of the gifts we give to the universe. When we're a teacher, our words may impact our students positively, but we'll never really know for sure. (Unless the students let us know, of course.) Our words might simply connect with a student on that particular day. There's also the chance that our words were felt so deeply by the student that the student carried those words for the rest of their life!


Her saying this made me SUPER excited to start teaching! I thought back to some of my favorite yoga classes and how the teacher was especially motivating to me or said a story, quote, or mantra that really resonated with me. I bet those teachers would love to know what they said inspired me. I know when I'm a teacher, I'd love to know if my words impacted anyone in a wonderful way.


What I find interesting, though, is we don't necessarily have to be any specific or specialized kind of teacher in order to share gifts, tell stories, or do random acts of kindness to others in our world.


Consider the last time you gave someone someone something. Maybe it was simply a smile to a stranger or a compliment to a co-worker. Heck, I'm still blown away every time a guy I don't even know holds a door open for me. It just makes me feel so special.


The truth is, some of the time, we never know the result of our good deed. (And now to talk about what I meant by the title of this blog entry!) What is the point of giving if we have no idea it'll be well received or we get nothing back? What if that stranger never smiles back? What if that co-worker thought we were just trying to butter them up? What if that guy had held the door open for another woman, and she slapped him in the face because she thought he was being condescending?


What is the point of giving anything without getting something in return? Or even something negative in return? Why go to the trouble?


I think...wait. I KNOW that there is something gained for simply GIVING.


How do I know? Well, I give compliments out to people like it's what I'm paid to do for a living! And...I couldn't really care less what the person I'm paying the compliment to says. (Though I certainly HOPE they like the compliment!) Believe it or not, it's actually never as if I'm trying to get on someone's good side. I just usually see something I like about a person and I tell them immediately about that.


Why is this? It's simply a personality trait of mine. There's a book titled The Five Love Languages, and one of the languages is Verbal Affirmations. That is my love language to the CORE. What's interesting about these love languages is that...usually....the language we use most towards everyone else is usually the way we wish to receive love in return. If you've ever given me a compliment, you KNOW how extremely grateful I am for it even if it's only the smallest little thing you mention. So, if you're reading this and you've complimented me, THANK YOU!!! You've given me the love that I seek. I bet you didn't even know it!


I do realize that my giving is a little self-fulfilling because I know, inside, that I give out compliments to others simply because I wish to get some in return. Even still, giving them out makes me a little happier anyway, even if I don't get back as many as I give out.  I still feel joy just to give people compliments, because whenever I'm the receiver of a compliment, I'm instantly happier.



I hope that you feel a little bit of happiness whenever you give someone something, too. Even if you don't get a response or something back, you're still putting joy out into the world. The point isn't necessarily to get something in return. The point is to make the world a better place.



Another way to realize what sort of impact your giving - without expectation of receiving - actually can have, consider this. What if that stranger you smiled at while walking was on their way home because they were going to commit suicide?



Really...what if?



And, what if you smiling at them made them think a little bit harder about what they were doing?



Seriously. What if?



That is the point of giving. You'll never know what your gift did. But it sure did a hell of a lot for the world.



It was simply a gift to me that you read this post. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.



Sarah

Warning: This post is super-duper touchy-feely lovey-dovey!

I've noticed something that grows in me every time I attend a yoga class. Lately, I've been attending more classes to enhance my yoga teacher training, so this growth is happening more often than it once was.


It seems that, when we're done, I fall a little bit in love with every single person who's attended that class with me.


The feelings are very small from the first part of class...where we practice our deep breathing. We all are beginning to breathe deeply together. At the start, I begin to feel connected to those right next to me.


Then, as we move through the flow portion of the class (which takes a bit of work!)...I feel even more connected, as we are all working together. Our muscles and our minds are moving together, totally synchronized.


As the class progresses, we stay connected, but we are each on our own individual journey. We do not do every single pose exactly the same, but we are travelling together, growing stronger together, struggling together, and pushing ourselves...together. We feel joy and pain and exercise mental toughness as well as our muscles. We are uncomfortable, but we also feel a kind of freedom. We explore our bodies' abilities, yet listen to ourselves when we know when we need to back off. We fall down, but we get right back up. We're all determined. We are serving ourselves and learning about ourselves, yet we're still there with each other. We are all just...trying. And...eventually...we join together in the same way on our mats, full of sweat. We welcome the final resting pose.


Together.


When it's all over, my love for each person in the class has really blossomed from those beginning breaths together. I always have this urge to hug everyone who shared in that hour of yoga class with me. It doesn't matter that we're all dripping with sweat! We went on this strange, awkward journey where we were all totally real and open to growth. We traveled through something we'll never experience again. It wrung our bodies out, yet relaxed our minds. We were, in a sense, cleansed. We felt very much the same range of emotions in that one hour, regardless of how well we knew each other. Most of us didn't know the rest of us at all. Still, we shared what I feel is was one of the most beautiful things the human body can do. How could I not LOVE that?


It doesn't matter if someone there was a complete newbie who fell over many times and had to watch everyone else to know what pose we were doing. I love people who are new to yoga because they have an open mind and it took them a tremendous amount of courage just to show up at this class.


It also doesn't matter if one of the others was an avid, muscular, lithe yogi that did all the hardest versions of all the yoga poses. I love the experts because they have a true, shining passion for the practice.


One part of my yoga journey where I didn't necessarily feel love at all...it was a big bunch of FEAR, really...was before yoga teacher training began. I was terrified I'd dislike all the people attending class with me. I wasn't really sure why. I think it was a mix of social anxiety coupled with feeling that so many yoga teachers seem to have this confidence about them. To me, most yoga teachers walk with a sense of ease along with centered-ness. I think I was afraid that I wouldn't necessarily fit in.


Because...if you know me...I'm brash. Blunt. I stand out. I'm outspoken. I'm LOUD. And a little crazy. But...that's me.


Well, it turns out, that after spending several weekends with these people, I've gotten the impression that they're apprehensive, too! I think that all of us are just hoping that we don't mess up. We have, and we will, and that's OK! Who cares? I love them for being there, for sharing in this extension...this GRAND expansion...of my yoga journey. OUR journey. We've struggled, yet we are real together, and we encourage each other. I feel so much love for them as well! I hope they can feel it too. I think I might have to hug all of them more, huh?


I found this incredibly beautiful video that's entitled, "Yoga in Love". It's the most wonderful yoga video I've ever seen, and I think it really resonates with my LOVE-ly theme. Enjoy!


Link obtained from:
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/11/the-most-beautiful-yoga-video-of-the-month-of-the-ever/?utm_source=All&utm_campaign=Daily+Moment+of+Awake+in+the+Inbox+of+Your+Mind&utm_medium=email


Much love to you!


Sarah