Those of you who have been reading my blog know how I feel about meditation. Those of you who haven't been, I'll enlighten you.
I think it's a crock of you-know-what.
Why? I think it's a waste of time. When I first found out what meditation actually was, I never thought it'd do anything worthwhile for me. (Basically, it's being still with your concentration on one thing, be it sounds or an object or anything really...as long as it's one thing.) Why sit and do nothing? Isn't it better to just take that time get stuff done?
Then, our instructor for yoga teacher training told us to try meditation as an assignment. She said to try just one minute a day, adding on a minute each day, up to a total of ten minutes per day. I'll be honest with you guys. I didn't do the assignment.
At our next class session, however, we watched a video which included famous yoga practitioners who spoke of the life-changing aspects of yoga and the yogic lifestyle, titled "Titans of Yoga". The minute I laid eyes on Bryan Kest (he was in the video), I was spellbound. And, not just by his perfectly chiseled face (though that certainly did help)! He said several things in the video that resonated with me. One of them was that he'd read about a recent Harvard study where it was concluded that the majority of our thoughts are the same thoughts we have every single day. Therefore, most of our thoughts are unnecessary thoughts. He said that having control of our thoughts was difficult, but was possible, and one way to help control them was through meditation.
When he said this I thought back to the time in my life when I suffered from severe anxiety. I used to take medication to help my mind stop from chattering and to calm myself down. (I still do take medication, just not as much as I used to.) The main thing that lead to my suffering was my inability to control my thoughts which, at times, seemed to overwhelm my mind and stress me out to the point of a panic attack. This is still something that I suffer from. I've gained much better control of my thoughts, but there are times when I do feel like I worry to an uncomfortable point. And, from just living life, I've learned that all that worry usually amounts to nothing. Much of what I worry about was nothing to worry about in the first place.
One thing I'm sure that's led to all of the thoughts in my head is that I also have a very short attention span. At any given time, I'm usually thinking about more than one thing. I am always thinking about tomorrow. I usually make 3-4 to-do lists every day. I'm always making plans for today, tomorrow, next week, and next month. When I'm at work, I don't like doing just one thing at a time. I just like being more productive. I'm usually on the phone with someone while composing an email to another. I do admit that my habits often cause me stress. I get burned out and discouraged when my plans don't turn out or even more projects are thrown on my plate at work. Also...I've come to realize that doing more than one thing at a time means I may not do each thing as well as if I had just been doing one thing.
When the beautiful Bryan from the video mentioned those unnecessary thoughts, I considered that meditation might be something that could be useful to me. I struggled to accept that doing NOTHING would be helpful, but I thought I'd at least see if it made my thoughts calm down a little bit.
I made time for my very first on-my-own meditation after doing a little yoga one morning before work. My goal was to try it for five minutes. I decided I would sit on my yoga mat covered in a blanket, cross-legged style. My goal was to simply watch the patterns that floated behind my closed eyes. I turned out the lights, and tried to breathe calmly.
How did it go? I found it extremely difficult to just let my mind BE. Concentrating on only the patterns behind my eyes was difficult. After about 20 seconds, I wanted to start thinking about the day...what to wear to work, the meetings I had coming up that day, what shopping I had to get done later. I was taught in yoga school that thoughts were only natural because they are what we are used to doing...so I tried to just notice them, and said to myself, I'll think of them later.
Although I did this, the thoughts didn't seem to stop coming! I felt more stressed out after my first meditation session than I did normally!
I wondered if I had failed at meditation. However, like I've been taught so many times, and especially in yoga school, you cannot truly fail if you don't try again. I know I am a strong person. When I don't do well at something I've done one time, I certainly give it another shot. Whenever I fall out of a yoga pose while practicing, you bet your bootie I get right back into that yoga pose!
I have been trying to include meditation with any yoga practice that I do at home before work. I try it several times a week. I have increased my meditation time from doing it for only five minutes at a time up to a whopping EIGHT WHOLE MINUTES! But, whew! You guys, it took me a few weeks to get to this point, and I'm still trying. It's very difficult for me not to think about more than the meditation.
I've also tried new items for me to concentrate on while meditating. When I don't feel like sitting with my eyes closed, I actually use the live wallpaper on my smart phone. It's composed of the most beautiful shades of purple, blue, and green and has little bubbles that I follow off of the phone screen. When one moves off, I just look at another one. I also use a beautiful snow globe that my father gave to me a few years back. It's silver and sparkly and has a unicorn in the center. I just turn the musical knob on the bottom and give it a shake. It's one of my favorite things to meditate with! It just brings me joy to look at.
My goal here was not to sell you on meditation. I just found it very surprising that it has seemed to actually help me - a person who HATES doing NOTHING.
One of the main reasons I've heard why people don't meditate is they feel they don't have time for it. In some of my own meditation technique research, I came across an article called "90 Second Sanity Pit Stop", and I felt the tactic used in it was very unique! Here it is:
"When caught up in the narratives and dramas that trigger us—when we find ourselves 'putting out one fire after another at work,' our foot on life’s gas pedal, impatient to the point of honking at others, etc.—the first step is to divert our attention from the visual and audio sensations that agitate us, such as the conversation or the computer screen. Sometimes we’ll have to remind ourselves that a 90 second mental health break will not change the outcome, unless we’re about to be trampled by wild animals, in which case continue running.
The first 30 seconds: Become aware of your out breath and extend each exhalation as long and smooth as possible, until they’re at least three times as long as each in breath. Long out breaths activate the vagus nerve which, in turn, 'switch on' the parasympathetic nervous system, deactivating the stress response. Don’t worry about your in breath, as your body knows how much oxygen to take in.
The second 30 seconds: Find the muscle groups in your body that are most constricted and use each out breath to release and relax the tension. I highly recommend focusing on the areas where somatic emotions register, such as the abdominal muscles (fear), shoulders (feeling overwhelmed), the chest (abandonment) and the micro-muscles around the eyes (just about every emotion). Sometimes it helps to lightly tighten the muscles with the in breath, so that we can have a greater release during the exhalations.
The last 30 seconds: While keeping the breath in awareness, bring an image of yourself onto the mind’s inner movie screen, where fantasies and memories play out. Holding the image, direct thoughts of kindness and compassion towards it: 'May I be truly at ease.' 'May I find lasting peace.' 'I love you, just keep going,' etc.
These thoughts can be repeated with every out breath, or again and again so other thoughts don’t intrude. When the 90 seconds are up, slowly open your eyes, and try, as you return to the busy stimuli of life, to keep some awareness on those out breaths. I recommend setting a timer on a smart phone or computer to remind us to take a pit stop every two hours at the very least; think of it as a spiritual refueling. I've used this tried-and-true method for quite a long time; it’s how I survived working in industries where other people succumbed to many stress related setbacks. I hope it will help others in their journeys."
Here is more information on it:
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/11/90-second-sanity-pit-stop-meditation-practice/?utm_source=All&utm_campaign=Daily+Moment+of+Awake+in+the+Inbox+of+Your+Mind&utm_medium=email
If you meditate, I'd love to know of any other methods or items you use when you do it. Feel free to post on this blog or on my Facebook post!
Peaceful thoughts to you!
Sarah
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