-Line from movie "Almost Famous"
I think many of us experienced our first desires to be liked when we were in our school age years. I remember thinking to myself, at that time, that I wished I was seen as "cool." Whenever I had the opportunity to do something that'd make me look good to others, I'd take it. I despised any moment where I might have come off as awkward or unprepared. I worried excessively about whether or not I was liked. It was an extremely awkward time as I was unsure about almost every decision I was making.
All of that deliberating was for naught, though, as I was not voted Prom Queen. Not. Even. Close. Did that make me unhappy at the time? Maybe. However, looking back on it now, I'm totally OK with it. Why? All the connections I made back then to those that really cared about me...well, they knew me for my "uncoolness". My parents supported me regardless of my mistakes (thank God for them, truly). The teachers who meant a lot to me were the ones I could honestly talk to about my feelings and needs. The friends I still have from that time shared in the deep feelings we experienced together way back in the day. I didn't have to be "cool" to them. They accepted me for who I was.
Over time, I've learned that being "uncool" is where it's at! The richest relationships in my life are the ones where I'm brutally honest with the ones I'm sharing my thoughts, feelings, and qualms with. What really enriches the relationship is when they let me know all of those very real things about themselves as well. The people I care about the most are real with me and don't put on a pretty face when they're around me as well.
What I think is very important to note is that these relationships are rare. There are only a few people in my life who can really handle my real-ness. It's extremely difficult to find others who you can really open up to, and, yet, they still accept you. But I think that's what makes these relationships so very, very deep. They can grow and deepen because there are precious few of them and we pay extra special attention to them.
The movie line above was taken from one of the entries in the book Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates. The book contains daily entries which elaborate on how yogic principles are experienced in everyday life. Gates writes: "This movie line presents two profoundly beautiful and ordinary aspects of satya (or, quite literally, truth, in Sanskrit): letting go of pretense and telling the truth about ourselves to another human being. Haven't we all had those moments of startling honesty with someone else?" He mentions examples such as while in therapy or on the sickbed of a loved one." He says, "these are sacred moments, as we come out of hiding and allow ourselves to simply be truthful with another human being, without trying to 'be cool'."
I absolutely agree with Rolf in that our most sincere and genuine connections with others are when we are being completely honest, open, unmasked, and "uncool".
Where I think that "uncool-ness" can be seen in action is at each and every single yoga class. Those who practice yoga probably don't know what they look like as they do the yoga poses because they've never seen themselves actually doing yoga. But, you guys, when seeing others while practicing teaching, everyone looks so awkward! The poses put the body in places they're not normally used to being in. The poses all exist for very good and deliberate reason, but it is a little bit humorous to see some of the faces that are made by the students performing a yoga class. Yoga can truly be a challenge. Yoga is facing the reality that your body craves. Yoga is REAL. Those who practice yoga are being completely "uncool" with their bodies...but they're forming a fabulous and deep connection with their bodies as well. They don't care, not one single bit, about how they look or how they're perceived by the yoga teacher or by the others in class. (At least I hope not! Because...really...no one cares what you look like in yoga class! Everyone's just concentrating on doing the class!) It is the same as the solid, candid, truthful, and satisfying connection that results from being real with others, only, it's with your body.
This is most definitely a reason why I adore yoga so much. Each person in a yoga class is being real with their bodies, just like they're being real with those who they deeply connect with in their lives.
See, that's why being "uncool" rules.
Sarah
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